Tag: Parenting

Diaper bag for two

Diaper bag for two

With the eminent arrival of Little Mister looming just a few days away- I am trying to get everything figured out. With Little Miss Mae still being little, I still require a diaper bag for outings with her, but I really didn’t want to carry two (I mean, can you blame me? I’m already carrying two babies, I don’t need two bags too!), so I scoured Pinterest and came up with my own version of the ideas I saw.

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I bought these little lingerie laundry bags at the dollar tree and I have to tell you I am obsessed with them. They come 3 to a pack for only $1 and I have used them to organize everything, from my crochet water balloons to his little socks and hats in his drawers so they don’t get lost. For this I used one for every function- one for diaper changes which have both size diapers, rash cream, wipes, etc all in one bag-so on your trip to the bathroom you just have to grab it! IMG_0145Then each of them have their own meal bag- Miss Mae’s is a little fuller, with punches, and bowls, and travel silverware, but I did include  one for little Mister with my manual breast pumps (which his bag is currently in my hospital bag instead of the diaper bag) a bib and some burp clothes- this will grow and adapt with him.

Then I have a bag with a change of clothes – one for Miss Mae and two for Little Mister, as well as socks and blankets. IMG_0148Finally I have a first aid/ care kit- it has bandaids, neosporin, baby Tylenol, sun screen, hand sanitizer, etc. all the stuff you might need on hand! IMG_0149I also have a final bag with mommy stuff (hygiene, nursing stuff, etc) I don’t have pictured. These bags stand/ stack perfectly in my bag to keep it well organized. I even printed labels for each bag off my computer to ease finding the right bag.

Fake friends- Let’s talk about it

So, I have been away from the blog a little longer than I had intended-but today I am 36 weeks pregnant with Little Mister, and things have been hectic and I have been emotional and busy! A couple weeks ago we planned a barbeque for the Fourth of July- we had ours on Sunday, as hubby and I both had a 4 day weekend that week. We bought enough food for all the friends that we invited- 18 people total plus kids! We were so excited, prepped burgers on Saturday so they had a chance to sit overnight, and everything. Sunday morning, we got a new patio set (something we are hoping to move to the new house- which that process is also currently a disaster) so we had more seating and everything. THEN… NO ONE SHOWED UP. I am not even exaggerating. My sister-in-law and mother-in-law are the only people who came to this barbeque.

Now, not only did that bother me, but one friend in particular I am over their excuses. I have literally not seen these people in months because everything must be on THEIR terms and nothing can be done otherwise. Their (husband and wife team with children) excuse was- well we would have to bring our own food for the boys because they aren’t eating hot dogs or mac and cheese right now. Mind you, we didn’t ask them to bring anything to contribute to the party itself, so the only thing they would have brought is for their own children to eat. Am I the only mother who thinks this should be expected? If I take my children somewhere and I know they won’t eat what is being served, I make other accommodations. This isn’t the hosts’ responsibility, it is mine as a parent.

But wait! It gets better. They never actually tell us they are not coming, just that they will have to see, and then never come. That night though, she posts pictures on Facebook of them out with other friends from out of town- indicating they never really planned to come anyhow- these other friends came from 3 hours away- this was obviously pre-planned. This bothers me for a couple of reasons. One- I am not a jealous friend. If you have plans with someone else, just tell me. I’m not going to be mad, but I also won’t count you when I buy food for my own event! Two, if you come up with an excuse at least pick a not lame one (like your kids won’t eat hot dogs and mac and cheese when I happen to know they love it!). Three, if you’re going to lie, at least don’t tell on yourself. Social media has made it to where we can share every thought we ever have at the exact moment we think it (thank you twitter!), that doesn’t mean we should. Sadly, this isn’t the first time this “friend” has done this.

The icing on the cake? Hubby and I woke up Tuesday morning to a group text of “hey were having an impromptu barbeque today- gonna have burgers and dogs! You should come out” UMMMM WTF?

Also on fake friends and social media- how many of you have those friends on (insert favorite social media outlet here-mine happens to be Facebook) whom you read their posts and think “you do know we know you in real life right?” You know- those perfect people who have the perfect relationship, and the perfect children and just the perfect life? “Oh Bob brought me home flowers for no reason today! He’s really something special and a keeper!” captions a picture of $3 Walmart bouquet- but you think “orrrr he brought them home because you went snooping through his phone over the weekend and found he was texting his ex gf and confronted him about it like you were just texting me about last night.” Or “they are just my pride and joy! Love how close they are!” captions the two ice-cream-covered faces with their arms around each other’s shoulder, the sister with a cute bob cut because the brother actually just cut off her pony tail last week and you had to rush her to the salon. Please people, you’re not fooling anyone.

silky, crunch, scrunchy-what?!

Crunchy, Silky, Scrunchy….

I don’t think I can really define myself in one category- and I don’t know why it has become such a big deal recently. I guess if I had to choose one I would be scrunchy. I have gradually become more crunchy over the years- 9 years ago when I had the twins I didn’t even consider breast feeding, they were on formula, gerber baby food, disposable diapers. With Cali-land last year- we made a full year of breast feeding (more on that to come in future blogs), I pureed my own baby food (thank you baby bullet!), coslept, and even purchased some cloth diapers (we never used them though, Cali-land was always so small they never seemed to fit her right- and lets be honest I bought them more because they were cute and cost effective than really I cared about the environmental hazards of disposables- I just liked the idea of them more than the reality). We breast fed because I wanted that bond with her and it was more convenience than anything else!

Mothers today put entirely too much pressure on one another, and are too judgmental of one another. If the baby is fed, happy, and being cared for- why does it matter to you HOW they are being cared for? We, as a community of mothers (let’s be honest! That’s the thing I have most in common with other human beings at this point- the fact that we love these little monsters we created and spend 99.9% of our time keeping them alive!), we need to start supporting and uplifting one another, rather than judging and stereotyping. The truth is- you can look up a single parenting type and have mixed reviews from “experts” on all of it. My mother-in-law fought me tooth-and-nail with the cosleeping and how “dangerous” it was- my answer to her was “I have coslept with four other children and have yet to suffocate one.” Guess what? Cali-land survived her first year cosleeping just fine! We are currently trying to get her in the crib more now (still in our room) with her baby brother on the way, but those awesome morning snuggle moments are still the highlight of my days.

Terms such as crunch, silky, helicopter- these terms didn’t exist in parenting until recent years. Our generation is so intent on defining and creating their own language that these types of words have popped up. So what are they?

Fellow blogger Karlyn Bishop defines them for us:

Crunchy : In layman’s terms, a crunchy mom is a mom who practices natural living. She is an advocate of natural birth, non or selective circumcision, not vaccinating, baby wearing , breastfeeding, co-sleeping, cloth diapering, attachment parenting, homeschooling, organic and green living, etc.

Silky: A silky mom bottle feeds part or full-time, uses disposable diapers, pro-circumcision, pro-vaccination, takes all advice from medical professionals, don’t care too much about labels and usually buys products based on convenience. Homeschooling is usually not an option. Silky moms aren’t too bothered about being green or living an organic lifestyle either.

Scrunchy is somewhere in between as defined by Karlyn as: A scrunchy mom wants their child to live in a more natural, organic environment, but can’t quite commit to all the activities and practices involved in being a crunchy mom. So they do some, but not all of it. They are in between crunchy and silky.

Tying this back to yesterday’s blog– how can we expect out children not to be bullies if we are trying to force one another into specific categories, and not just embracing one another as mothers?

Here are my thoughts on this:

FED is best- breast, bottle, organic, pureed at home, jarred- as long as the baby is healthy and happy- who cares HOW the baby is getting the nutrition?

Diapered is best- until potty training – yes disposables are “clogging up the land fill” but ya know what else isn’t good for the environment? That 8 passenger SUV you have to drive to carry all your hippy kids. And Fluff butts (cloth diapered butts) are the cutest thing in the world- so if you can deal with scraping off poop go for it! If you are scrunchie but want the cute fluff look, check out best bottom diapers– they are used with liners that you can get either reusable or disposable.

Cosleeping comes with risks-yes you MAY just roll over on the baby (although I am very conscious of a baby in my bed so I don’t know how anyone does) or also scary- you may have a problem transitioning them out of your bed! Although I don’t know any kids whose parents had to accompany them to college to breastfeed or cosleep so you’re probably ok. Putting the baby down in a crib or bassinet is also ok! As long as the baby is healthy and sleeping, who cares?!

Baby wearing- honestly, I have nothing bad to say about baby wearing! Do it intelligently (ie don’t fry bacon with your newborn strapped to your chest) but man, when you have a cranky baby, having two hands to still be productive while snuggling them close? What’s not to love? I’m trying to convince the hubby daddy’s baby wear too!

I am an avid provaccinator- but that’s another whole blog in itself.

 

So what do you think? Do you fall into a “mom category”? Do you think these should even be such a thing?

Bullying: Are we raising softees or do others need to RAISE their children

Bullying: Are we raising softees or do others need to RAISE their children

Our community was recently rocked by the loss of not one, but two innocent lives. When I say innocent, I mean these souls were nothing more than children, a young girl of only 15 and a young boy of only 12. Even more senseless is these two adolescences took their own lives after feeling they had no other option due to bullying- and all in the span of a month. As a mother of almost-9-year-old twins, this scares me.

Bullying has been around as long as there has been humanity, it isn’t anything new, but that doesn’t make it right. It is my belief that tragedies like this can be stopped at home though. Parents need raise their children to embrace diversity instead of condemn it. Parents needs to raise their children to respect one another. Parents needs to understand that they are raising bullies, and often condoning such behavior.

A friend did bring up an interesting thought when the first suicide was making its way through the news- she is clear to state that she doesn’t want anyone to take offense to what is obviously her opinion, but she had seen a rise in antibullying posts. While she believed this is great, she goes on to say “can anyone remember a time where there were no bullies?… Bullies have been around long before us… They are here to stay in our schools (private, public, and Christian) and our place of employment. At the playground or at the supermarket. Even spouses and siblings bully each other. There’s no end in sight. I teach my kids not to bully and they better pray to God if I ever find out otherwise, but I also teach them to be strong. I don’t cradle my children. I’m not afraid to hurt their feelings. I pick on them, play pranks, and teach them to take a joke… I am training them to have thick skin, and to hold their own. I don’t like it if someone says something mean to them or if they start to cry because of a little jerk. But guess what? I will help them get over it and except it. Teach them to let lies and cruelness roll off their backs. We cannot control bullies, but we can control how we teach our children to deal with them.”

This raises an interesting question- do we, as parents, need to understand that we are raising our children to be weak? Weak willed, weak minded, and have so little self-esteem that they are allowing others to define them- especially those who don’t deserve to be our definers? Do we need to teach our children to cope with bullies as we cannot change the bullies ourselves?

It’s my opinion- and honestly my hope- that we need to support our children. If they come to us with such complaints, we need to validate their self-worth, be supportive, and not blow off such feelings. Shortly after the young boy- a 7th grader in our town with a population of just over 46,000, took his own life by firearm, there was a district meeting in which several families stood up to the district. This boy did not come forward to his family, but he did bring it up to several teachers, the middle school vice principal, and other school officials- and all his reports were ignored. Unfortunately, several other families had the same complaints. Their children’s calls for help were being ignored- and that is just uncalled for. I hope that if my children are ever in such a situation, they have the strength and courage, and feel they have the support, to come to me.

What are your thoughts on the subject? Are we raising softees? Or has bullying just gotten out of hand?